


poems from a toxic tongue

by the_gay_poetry



Category: We Know the Devil (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Bad Poetry, Character Study, Coping, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Past Sexual Abuse, idk im tired and bored, implied jupiter/neptune/venus, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 19:12:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17167721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_gay_poetry/pseuds/the_gay_poetry
Summary: things are shitty. people are shittier. coping poetry makes things a little less worse.neptune just needs to write down her feelings and then throw it away to be forgotten.but jupiter won't let that happen.





	poems from a toxic tongue

_tidal waves that rage in my heart, turn to water lapping against the shore ~~of my mind~~ of my skin when i see you._

"No, that's a shit line." Neptune whispers, but doesn't erase it. 

_hurricane hearts, too much ~~worry~~ fear. too reluctant, too eager, too scared._

_i don't want to look into the eye of your storm. ~~please let me ravage you.~~_

~~_i want to be the tsunami that  wrecks you._ ~~

Her shoulders slump ever so slightly - she thinks carefully for just a moment before pressing the dull pencil against the crumpled paper. 

_i promise i'll be gentle with you ~~tho~~ ~~though~~   ~~if you promise to be gentle with me.~~_

_because i also want to be your calm, breezy sea._

Her chipped acrylics tap the side of the pencil steadily.

~~_i hate you so much_ ~~

~~~~_~~i hate you~~ _

_~~i hate~~ _

_~~i love~~ _

Neptune crumples the  paper into a ball and shoves it into her skirt pocket when she hears Venus calling her name, which is where it will stay until she  decides to add more sappy, stupid lines later in her spare time...or throw it away. She usually ends up throwing all of her god awful poem sheets away. Can't risk anybody finding them.

Venus appears in the doorway, a shy grin on her face. "How was your nap."

"Oh, you know-" She stretches her back with an audible crack. "-not long enough. Uncomfortable. Restless. Absolutely wretched. But thanks for asking."

"O-oh, uh, sorry." The timid girl mutters. "Uh, anything I can do to, er, help?"

_oh beautiful goddess, i wish your insides matched whats out. you could be so perfect._

"Nope." Neptune says bluntly, turning on her phone. "Again, thanks for asking."

Venus looks uncomfortable, and Neptune feels just a twinge of guilt for being a bit rude to the girl. They don't say anything for a solid minute, until an unsure voice breaks the silence.

"Hey, it's almost time for...lunch, uh, why are you guys just standing there?" 

Neptune's ears perk up, and she looks to see Jupiter walking up to them. It looks like she had just gotten back from a a jog or a hike or something; she was wearing joggers, running shoes, and a light t-shirt, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and  her cheeks were tinted red, and the straps of her sport bra were visible, and-

~~_oh emperor of my heart, how i long for your touch. hold me down, ravish me with your love, for i am gayer than the happiest man._ ~~

"Go take a shower, you reek." Neptune says, pushing her shoulder lightly. "What have you been doing?"

Jupiter looks at her stupidly. "Morning...wood. Er, I mean, morning run...in the  woods." There's an audible snap. 

_oh l ~~ove~~ fool, you have such a way with words. you make  my heart go ~~doki fuckin doki.~~_

Neptune crosses her arms. "Are you okay? Did the sun get to you, or were you always this dumb."

Before Jupiter can say anything else, Venus is  pushing her into the cabin to change. "We can talk at the  lunch table, uh, I don't want bonfire captain to get upset."

The taller girl rolls her eyes and leans against the cabin. "Whatever, goody-goody."

 

_i hate the way i feel. soft, curves, light touch, tender, ~~pain.~~ my mind doesn't want it ~~but my heart cant stop craving it.~~_

_an angel has deceived me before, but i have never learned the difference between an angel and a devil in disguise._

_i can't tell if your an angel or a devil or a devil pretending to be an angel, but it confuses me._

_i don't care what you are._

_two girls, too many issues, one summer, ~~too little time~~. one beautiful goddess keeping us in line. _

_i have morning wood for you._

Neptune sighs. "Oh, that's  _real_ poetic."

"A-are you talking to yourself?"

Neptune bolts up and immediately crumples up her paper. Jupiter is staring at her wide eyed. Venus can be heard snoring from the other side of the cabin.

"What do you want, Jupiter." Neptune hisses. The hurt look on her face makes the taller girl want to kill herself.

"I just wanted to say sorry, for like, being all weird. Earlier." She mumbles. "That's all, uh, g-good night."

"Wait, Jupiter." She says, reaching a hand out. "Come back...I'm...sorry I snapped."  She scoots over to make room on the bed. 

Jupiter looks startled, but sits next to her anyway. Neptune can see her reaching for her hair tie. 

"If I see you snap that thing I will make you sleep outside." She says deadpan. Jupiter retracts her hand.

They sit in awkward silence; Jupiter's fingers dancing along the edge of the black band; Neptune coughed softly.

"What were you talking to yourself about?" She asks.

"Nothing."

"Well, it must have been something."

"It wasn't anything."

Jupiter looks at Neptune. Neptune looks back at her. Her hair is messy and all over the place, her eyes are intense but still caring.

_i wanna kiss your fucking everything._

"What." Neptune says.

"I'm worried about you."

"Why? You've literally got  nothing to worry about. I mean, none of us are okay, but I'm more okay than you and  Venus."

"I don't think that's true."

"Well I think it's true, and that's all that matters." She coughs. "Now stop worrying."

Jupiter looks away and doesn't respond. "Hey, what's that?" She says, picking up-

"Nothing, keep your grubby fucking hands off my shit, Jupiter, jesus christ." She shouts, snatching her poem paper out of her hand. Venus starts to stir, tiredly looking over to see what the commotion is.

Jupiter looks stunned as Neptune rips up the sheet and shoves it under her mattress. "Go to bed. It's late." Neptune mutters, before  laying down on her cot. She watches as Jupiter nods, and stands up slowly. It looked like there were tears in her eyes. Snapping could be heard on the way back to her cot. 

_it looks like i was the devil, fallen from heaven, dragged down by another of my kind. i'm dragging you down with me too._

_i'm sorry i'm the way i am._

~~_i love you_ ~~

That night, it was quiet. And Neptune couldn't stop crying.

 

_jupiter is closer to the sun than i am. i am in the furthest reaches of space, where nor the light or the warmth can penetrate my cold layer of ~~denial~~ ~~anger~~ ~~sadness~~ whatever. she can't unthaw me. not even venus, ~~too hot~~  too close to the sun for her own good. i am stuck. i am unlovable. _

~~_i love you so much_ ~~

~~_i love you_ ~~

~~_i lov_ ~~

By the time Neptune wakes up, Jupiter is already gone, her bed made, and her army jacket missing from it's hanger.

Neptune felt like actual shit. She made everyone feel like shit. She couldn't help herself.

_the angel becomes the devil, the devil ruins everything she touches._

_my filter is broken; all of the sludge from inside my brain flows right through it._

Venus hadn't left yet, but she had just finished putting her shoes on, and was heading for the door. When they made eye contact, the girl gave her a small smile. Then she was gone. 

_she's icarus flying too close to the sun. i am the sun, except i'm not hot ~~(yeah i am lol)~~ this sun would burn you in every other way. venus was flying at a safe distance. her wings were made  of stronger material. stay away angel. don't become like me._

 

Neptune slowly made her way to the mess hall, dreading the look on Jupiter's face. Her cheeks were probably tear stained, her strong eyes looking weaker. It made her skin crawl just thinking of a broken version of such a strong girl.

"Neptune." Somebody said. She looks up to find Jupiter leaning against the tool shed, staring at her intently. 

"What are you doing?" Neptune says as she walks over to her. "I though you were at the mess hall."

"Just get in here." She whispers, holding the crooked wooden door open for her.

Neptune's heart skips a beat, and her cheeks darken slightly, but at the same time, her stomach start to sink until it's hit the ground.

 _invite me with you, to escape the places that ~~hold us back~~ keep us hidden. i want to be  free  ~~with you please take me with you set me free~~_ ~~~~

The tool shed, like many other of the buildings on the property, is an accident waiting to happen. The base is  shifted, making all  the walls lean to one side. The air smells of dank grass and lawnmower fuel and horny teen desperation (or maybe she was just imagining that last part). Jupiter reaches up and pulls the cord on a single, dim, flickering light bulb, that was probably older than either of the girls. With the light on, Neptune can see that beautifully disheveled face the girl had grown to love. Her eyes, though red and slightly puffy from crying (Neptune wanted to die for  making this wonderful girl cry), still looked strong and intense. Her posture looked better today - she was usually slouched over as if to protect herself from a blow to the chest. With her jacket sleeves rolled up, she could see the red lines all across her forearm, the hair tie sat innocently on her wrist. Her hand was clenched tightly around...

"What are you holding?" Neptune said deadpan.

Jupiter took a shaky breath, and extended the ripped up paper to her. "I was just curious.."

Neptune smacked the paper out of the girls hand, making it flutter to the dirty ground. "How did you even get it? Why would you-"

"I just wanted to understand, I don't know, I'm not just going to stop worrying about you..."

"Do you have any idea how important these are to me?" She shouts, gesturing  to the paper on the floor. "What is wrong with you?"

"No, I d-didn't realize what they were...I'm sor-" Then Neptune was kissing her. Kissing her hard, fingers running through her hair, tugging, pulling. She felt unsure hands on her back, in her  hair -they seemed to be everywhere. Then she was gone, turned away from the shorter girl, with her arms crossed.

"You shouldn't have read them." She says.

Jupiter looks dazed. "Then...wh-why did you-"

"Because I still like you, ya know. I'm not going to stop liking you just because you literally went  through my belongings when you shouldn't have...." She looked away. "But I guess....you didn't know."

 Jupiter bent down to pick up the bits of paper. "I mean, you could have just told me not to look at it...I thought it might have been a suicide note or something."

Neptune huffed. "Maybe that would have been better."

"Don't say that." She says, placing a hand on her arm hesitantly. "I, uh, really liked them. They were pretty."

"It's not about them being good or not." She mumbles, leaning against on of the slanted walls, and sliding down it until she was on the floor. "It's a way that I cope."

The shorter girl sat next to her, not touching, but still close enough that Neptune could feel the body heat radiating off of her. "What do you mean coping?"

She feels a lump start to form in her throat. "I....don't know if I want to talk about this."

"It's alright if you don't...whatever your comfortable with."

She took in a shaky breath. "There was this...girl. And I really liked her, but I don't think she liked me. You know, the whole straight girl experimentation thing. She...took advantage of me, always wanting to hook up. We did everything under the sun, but never went on a date or anything."

She looked over at Jupiter, studying her face carefully. "There were two nights...that things started going wrong. One....one night I had too much to drink, she had done things when I was passed out." Jupiter grabs her wrist tightly, but doesn't say anything. "Then she held me down another night...and that's when we were found, haha." She laughed weakly. "With our bras off and our skirts down, then she started blaming me for  manipulating her into fucking."

Neptune hadn't realized she was crying until she felt warm tears on her collar bone. Her own tears. Still laughing, she wiped her eyes. "Everyone called me a slut, saying awful mean things that weren't true. The spread rumors, harrassed me, treated me like garbage...so I decided to treat them like garbage too. But I still felt things, even though I tried to stop, I still felt and it was so awful keeping it all in. So I wrote, I wrote all the vulnerable things down, while keeping up that dangerous front....so no one would hurt me anymore. Well...I guess they don't know their hurting you if you don't give them a reaction...."

Jupiter was staring at her - she could feel her eyes burning into the side of her face - but she couldn't look at her. "I wasn't...the one doing the manipulating. I couldn't trust anyone, and I could never share my feelings....I...don't even know." She laughed a little harder. "I'm sorry, I was rambling, just forget all about that. She starts to get up-then Jupiter is hugging her- tight enough to make a rib or two crack. Then she softens up, barely touching her skin. Neptune doesn't hug her back, but simply allows herself to be held, feeling how warm Jupiter was, how gentle she was being. 

"I'm sorry that happened..." She mutters into her shoulder, tears dripping onto her clean pressed Summer Scout uniform. 

Neptune can't help but tear up again. "Yeah, me too."

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours. They listened to the silence, to each others heart beats. Their hands twine together, then their legs, and suddenly they're touching, and feeling, and crying together.

"I like you too." Jupiter whispers. 

 

Neptune looks at her carefully. "I promise...I'll be gentle with you..." She barely whispers.

Jupiter smiles softly, grabbing  the taller girl's hand.

"I promise I'll be gentle with you too."

"Good." That's all she needed to hear.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was just a little headcanon/character study about how neptune writes shitty poetry, and then it elaborated into this whole sexual abuse backstory and yeah. first thing i wrote in a while, so sorry if its absolute garbage, i haven't written in a while. i hope you enjoy this small thing, ill post more soon.


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